Thursday, January 12, 2006

First ever Science Geek Scientific Fraud Awards

I came across an MSN article about scientific frauds over the past 30 years. Being that the article only lists nine I'm guessing this is just a sampling. Although I've never actually researched the topic so who knows, that might be all. Well, at least all that have been caught. Perhaps if I had more time I would look into it further however for now I'll use these nine as the nominees for the first ever Science Geek Scientific Fraud Awards!

The award for best use of a sharpie goes to...

Dr. William Summerlin!!! For doing what only little kids would think of - colouring a mouse with a sharpie! Way to go Will! Since this science thing isn't working out so well for you perhaps you may consider a career as a kindergarten teacher.


The award for most research money obtained by fraud goes to...

Dr. Eric Poehlman!!! For managing to get millions of dollars in funding with no real data! Come on, if it was that easy everyone would have loads of funding and grad students would be rich.


The award for cutting and pasting goes to...

Dr. Ali Sultan!!! For plagiarizing a number of figures and text as well as interchangeably using his results from multiple malaria strains to show whatever it was he was trying to prove. Ali, Ali, Ali, even though the tubes are all labeled Plasmodium you need to also consider the species name. And shame on you for trying to blame it all on your post doc! Haven't you lied enough?


The award for best use of imaginary friends goes to...

Dr. Gary Kammer!!! For including his imaginary lupus afflicted friends in his study. Most of us lose touch with our imaginary friends by the time we start grade school but Gary managed to maintain communications with his imaginary friends all the way to adulthood. I'm sure Gary has plenty of time to spend with those friends now.


And the lifetime achievement award for scientific fraud goes to...

Dr. John Darsee!!! For not really doing any real research in 14 years yet still managing to get over 100 papers published. Way to go! Even though he is banned from receiving any funding for 10 years somehow I don't think this will be a problem for him. He could always go into writing science fiction. Oh wait, that's what he has been doing for the past 14 years.


Gentlemen, please come collect your awards which consist of an engraved frame containing a letter from the NIH stating that hell will freeze over before you get research funding from them. Congratulations and good luck in your future non-scientific endeavors. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

No comments: